In brief

just to go through it shortly, I wanted to ask my mother about the panic attacks.
It was a goal for me in BCN.
Funny. I asked. "There was a stage I didn't want to be left alone, right?"
She said: "sure, but then you used to terrorize people around you making up horror tales".
"People around" was my poor little sister, or any kid neighbours I was left together with. I used to make up a good night story for my sis, almost every night. Some were really beautiful. She would remember some and ask the following night: "Tell me about the story of the girl who crawled the rainbow" and I would have forgotten.
And yes, I remember, that in order to cope with the fear, when left alone, my stories would turn into very descritive horror tales.
I saw my former downstairs neighbour just this last time in BCN after many years of, say, poor communication and it is one of the things she remembers from me inour childhood. That and the cassette coreogrphies in the garden. Oh, man!
I still must say I was panicking when left alone. But hell!, also delegating.
To prove facts I must say what I recalled I was panicking in 2 occasions my mother went shopping. I don't even know where my sister was. I guess in my biological clock it was taking her too long to come back from the shops. The first time I came out of the terrace and shouted my lungs out to get help. A neighbour came out and told me not to worry. I didn't worry.
The second time I shouted and shouted, and no-one would listen. I shouted: can someone listen? Please, my parents are dead! And then later this guy came out of the terrace next door and helped me jump to the neighbour's terrace. He told me everything was going to be OK.
At that point my mother showed up. Shouting her lungs off (remember, we are talking about the Mediterranean string).
I had to get back home. Pity, because I was very curious to where that stanger coming from the neighbours terrace was going to take me. Unfortunately to get back to my parents' I had to use the stair and move buildings the old fashioned way, through the street. I even made an attempt to be hung off the terrace again, but no-one wanted to help... mm :-(
Pity, because I kinda found cool the jumping terraces thing. Woo-hoo!