30 de maig 2014

90 days of love and gratitude. Warm up

Quite amazingly I felt inspired by a friend who was counting everything worth being thanked every day for 100 days. But see my last post, I had already begun without even realising. I see if the habit sinks in and I am able to be influenced by positive only!

As I was going back to a compilation of those great things two comments so far just temporarily blocked my faith in human race. I am currently sitting in class, warming the chair and the teacher throws a question regarding shark culling. 
 Australia newcomers all express their fear when going into the water...Fear of sharks (well done, media!). Well, he says, "how safe would it be then if they had people patrolling the ocean and shooting at sharks?" 
I know, right! I wanted to jump off my chair and give a whole speech against  shark culling,
speciesism, guns and how ethically wrong it was to throw such a question in an educational facility...

It is their habitat, we are just guests, for love's sake!. But I don't say anything, I am procrastinating my many duties of the week and I have decided to write a bit more in my blog. And this is giving me a lot of material! During that improptu debate someone throws the pearl: well, how can they make sure they have killed them all? - What if they come back? The worst is how others handle the question. It is all about their right to bathe shark free. They are concerned that "killing sharks with a gun" might hurt people by accident... I kept my mouth shut. And I choose to learn the lesson. 
We should be ashamed of saying these things in public. Yet, we are not. This shows the current Zeitgeist. That there is a lot of education missing... People need help, how can I help? As I have discovered this week,  the ones who vote the current government are everywhere. But this sort of non-conscious behaviour is fear. Fear keeps your mind closed and makes you think that you'll be attacked by a shark if you take a dip in the water, for example. Or that gays create Global Warming. Or that  coal is  good for the economy...
And just like that I realise how lucky I am to sit here and be learning this lesson, I listen and try to understand what their fears are, where they come from.

And after sharing my experience from a classroom, back to love and thanking. 
This is my week's compilation Thursday to Thursday:

Thursday MAY 22 - Happy days! I was meeting someone and he didn't show up. The universe heard me. I have a proper eveining off!. The begining of a new era with my flat in Amsterdam started. One of my best wines on special and a 5 min catch up with my favourite flattie. She makes me happy! I drink a bit too much wine, but I am so grateful to have this evening for myself! 

Friday MAY  23:    I don't get to sleep enough, but I am thankful of that overbooked flight one Christmas eve. I love seeing us now. We were meant to meet, lovely to see how we evolve...
Saturday 24:        Best reading session on a cliff. Talking to Nadish that evening just made my day.
Sunday 25:          I offer to massage some of my flatmates. I felt like it. It filled the room with beautiful essential oils and I got energised to see their happy faces afterwards.
Monday26:          I took the bus to school. It helped me interiorise one of the laws of success: Enjoy as if you would be getting what you want and don't be dependent on the outcome.
Tuesday 27:        A beer case for a teacher's b-day, he shared a bottle with each. I hadn't had such a nice, needed beer in a long time.
Wednesday 28:   I had one hour for myself to do leisurely activities. I put my energy in a dream house. And I dream on...
 Thursday 29:     Catch up with an old friend. Made me smile, lovely musician on stage in the bar. Little girl crush develops. Come home smiling.

I  keep working on letting go and I am able to dream! This is the life. 

23 de maig 2014

days of love an thanking - sleepless version

The sky is clear in Sydney. 
I love living here. I say that a lot. I can't say that enough. I have also mentioned that I live in quite a particular place and I am glad it is so! It couldn't be any other way. 

I never have problems sleeping. But I do today. I took an extra shot of melatonin just to make sure Morpheus would visit me soon. Not happening...

I confess. I am a slave of work Monday to Thursday, a lazy student Thursday and Friday, someone who works for other Saturday nights and a devotee of bed Thursday  to Sunday. I know, a lot of people work Monday to Friday, many more hours. Teachers out there will undestand that we get a lot of unpaid working hours. Atleast 3 a day. I just have a very strong opinion on how working isn't really what we came to do in this world. Thankfully my work allows me to learn lessons of life. Sometimes. Not often enough. 

There is a meteorite rain coming soon. And here I am under the clear skies of the Southern Hemisphere hoping I could get a glimpse. Not the right side of Earth. Our universe is so crazy...

Before going to bed I got out the house to greet the clear sky, the well attached stars, the grey cat outside.

And then... a white VW Golf drives past me and stops on the curve. I know that car. It belongs to Scott (I think it's his name), our neighbour two houses down in the impossibly rich Vaucluse. I always wondered what I'd say to him if I ever met him. How  old he'd be, how'd he walk, talk... We met today. He run past me. He said: "Hi" in a friendly tone. I uttered a longish clear: Hi, as if I had been waiting for him. I had. 

Scott has attempted suicide twice this year. It fascinated me in a strange way. What would make a person who sits on the firstness of the First World attempt suicide? 
What would I say to him if I met him? "Hi", is a start. 
I could finally put a face and a body to that dark-ish suicidal neighbour we have gossiped about on night in nights. We know his name bacause the Paramedics tried to ressucitate him last time and they called his name. I saw the ambulance, but never heard them call him. Somebody said.
I live next door to a person with a suicidal history and now that I put a face to the person... How can I express? I looked at him in a... "Wait, I know who you are" attitude. And we have maybe more in common than we thought. Not that I am suicidal. Maybe I hold on so much to life that the thought of deciding when to end it always keeps me thinking.

Would these encounters ever mean anything? Would I be able to say more than"hi" to him?
In my mind I did. I hope he got it. 
I always think that people who attempt to finish their lives are afraid of dying, more than we can ever think, they jump into their fears. They want to stop a sharp pain, but because they want to live again! It is so extreme, yet such a strange side of human beings.

Today, after 2 years I met my suicidal neighbour. It's giving me another reason to stay awake and a reason to write. 
He's lived more than 2 years next door to a house full of life, stories, love, madness... he is oblivious to it. We are oblivious to his everyday life. We are so close to each other, but we have such worlds apart. 

I wonder what haunted him and hope it never ever does. Again. Drop by for a coffee/wine/those spicy chips Jeffrey buys obsessively and places on the kitchen table!. Check these stunning sunsets, our clear skies without meteorite rain! ...if you ever feel the burden is too heavy
- yes! that is what I wanted to say!

17 de maig 2014

Dangling my feet on a cliff

Yesterday I went down to Diamond Bay, the most magic corner on Earth, the number one reason that makes  me so grateful of life in this place, among at least 20 other. 

Sitting on the edge of the rock, observing the rare calm dark blue and silver sea on full moon, full  light and those flickering little waves doing light worm like patterns in an incredible feast of white and the shiniest silver. I sat in silence and full connection with the impressive show in front of me. And promised myself that this must be written, that this life I live is extraordinary, that writing is a privilege and I deserve it.

It all came together. I experience an intense moral/emotional week on top of my lack of social life Monday to Thursday. This makes me a complete social animal Thursday to Sunday. 

And then Yoyo sends me a link about "El Ulltimo de la Fila" I devore and respect, beccause Manolo, who's in no way connected to Amanda Palmer is equally awesome. 
I set my Pandora station to "El Ultimo de la Fila" full melancholy and suddenly, this station sends me another little pearl: La Union. Lobo Hombre en Paris. 
I just came back from an inspiring run along the Watsons Bay reserve.  And I was thinking a lot about the moon and Paris. 

After my trip to India something big is growing.It wasn't the place. It was the needed connections to make a cycle activate. And I make it grow (Thursday to Sunday, when life starts for me) - I manifest, I receive, I create. 
Aham Brahmasmi.