24 de febrer 2007


I'm trying to collect my quirks, those things that make me "special", since I think everyone has some, and it is funny to see how people develop the most peculiar ones, out of experiences or innherent habits. When I get to know people it is a fascinating subject I like to find out about. You know someone well when you are aware of their quirks... And of course I am no exception.

I have a cup. See my cup.

I bought this cup in Sydney, a city where I wish I could live happily ever after (and not here in the cold). Back then I was living with 7 guys and I was the only girl in the flat, I called it an adult and down under version of Snowhite and the seven dwarfs. The guys all had physical jobs, whereas I was the soft ass little princess who was on an exchange program of Pompoi Harvard and taking care of children to earn some money and travel up the coast. I gave up the cleaning in Vicar St 21 Flat#1 after 2 weeks living together and learnt to get used to the crispy sound of stepping on cockroaches instead.

My mug was purchased in Randwick, NSW, in a dollar shop.
It found me, it was love at first sight, but I forgot it in the flat in Vicar St. upon my departure. That's why I came back to Sydney 6 months later to pick it up.
It was slightly damaged but still there. I could consider it a luck cup, since thanks to it, one of the Vicar St tennants recognized me at a party, and due to it I hung around at the party and so I got to meet ... *sigh* ... nevermind. What's past is past.

My cup has a sister, and both no name. That's because I saw another version of the cup during 3rd visit to Australia, in the same shop :

now I use it more than the older one. You can tell by the many stains. Proof that I don't tend to wash it much...

So his would be then make my first quirk

I always have to drink coffee from the same cup. From my cup, or when visiting, always the same one. I don't like anyone else use mine and I hardly ever wash it, I also don't like anyone else to wash it up it for me. It's one of the first things people learn when they move in with me and the first apology I make for sounding a bit weird. Otherwise I'm ok to live with... Hope all my ex-flatmates read this some day and deliver proof <..> eeo?!!

I never wear a watch. I once lost one and learned how to live without. I'm better
at guessing the temperature than the time, but strange enough I haven't had the need
of a watch for over 14 years.

2.1 --> I will put it all together because this adds up to my aversion against

I don't have a TV, I haven't had one since 1996. Same thing as the watch, I
one day didn't have one and got used to it. I only watch TV as a guest and even
so, I don't get a good feeling after watching. Tell me about series,
advertisements... I have little idea. But I really don't mind. I don't know if
this makes me an anti-TV person, I don't think so, but I don't feel too
confortable when I'm visiting and that thing is always on. Amazing how our
habits change... I can browse the biggest junk on the internet, tho so I guess it
compensates for the TV thing.

2.2 -->

I HATE telephones. I don't know when or why it happened. Because I like to talk to
people since I tend to spend probably 10x the time of a phone call paying a visit
and probably 4x the monthly amount of a phone bill to get there and back (bear in
mind many friends live abroad) and I still prefer it. Although I don't mind
chatting or even talking over the PC. It is the carrying a device that might
interrupt me what disconforts me. And the fact that people call for the stupidest
reasons. The worst case is if they want to give me directions or try to start a
conversation when I'm calling for a question-answer thing, I am so concentrated in
hanging up I can't process information. A headset would make me feel funny and I'm
probably one of the few persons who runs when the mobile rings in public to hide on
a corner.

My desire to comunicate avoiding phones as much as possible was one of the reasons I thought it would be a good idea to post stuff. To communicate through other means, since I can't write always everyone and a mailing is sometimes not best welcome... I think about lots of persons at different times of the day, or at the same time. It is hard to be everywhere...

I want to apologise as well if anyone finds it hard to reach me. I sometimes leave the mobile home if I know I don't have to be reachable. I don't have a land line, because once I had so much trouble with the telephone company and old bills of flatmates I let them cut the line, and I didn't reactivate it. My father gave me an old mobile (zapatófono) which in fact was better, since you can take it with you in case you need it.
I use the phone if necessary, not to chat. I don't understand why people like publically shout around their bullshit whilst talking on the mobile, as if we cared.

By the way, I don't listen much to the mailbox. If you want to reach me WRITE me on the mobile. Then you will be sure I receive the news, I keep them, and I respond.

I have more, like hating umbrellas and being pulled into one when it rains, but I think that is enough to be processed for a while. I didn't want to turn this into an ode to my quirks. I do admit the device fobia makes me somehow old fashioned, but hey! What about computers? I couldn't live without one. And it still surprises me when I learn that some people have no internet and can get away without it.

By the way, another quirk is that I find it so difficult to ask for help...
Stupid me, I want to think people read my mind. Still fitting in the "einzelgänger" profile, and though, I could never have enough of being sorrounded by people, friends, specially under the same roof. Learn their stories, share moments... (ja m'estic posant hippie un altre cop...)

Enough from now. I will be happy to learn more about your quirks.

Kisses to all and thanks for the e-mails. It really makes me happy and in moments of loneliness, less lonely to hear from you...

21 de febrer 2007


... però cap por.
Ja porto uns dies recupertant el cap i acumulant idees.
Hope to write soon, some little things have come through my mind...

10 de febrer 2007


... It hurts.
How long should it take? They were no bubbles. It is a hollow.


I had the most peculiar conversation with a friend today. What is freedom? I was determined to find out.

I am free, I am free now. Free as in from today on officially single.

... But it's strange, because it feels as free as it did a couple of hours ago, only without a feeling of guilt, of having to carry part on someone else's life. As in stepping out to carry on, wherever it takes me.

I guess I needed to do it to believe it myself.
But I have strange bubbles in my tummy and I'm somehow sad/euforic and in peace with myself, it is relieving not to have the worry of inevitably hurting someone by not being able to give more. It's me and the consequences I will have to deal with. I have these wings growing again and whithin the strange euforia, I'm scared to see where I land.
And somehow I can't wait to see how it feels further, where these wings are going to take me.
For the ones who know it, finally some picts of the place I purchased this spring. For the ones who don't, let's see how you find it. It is my favourite place to sleep and to shower. And it slowly feels like home.
Otherwise I realized it is no good place for concentration or inspiration. I might still be missing something...

Well, enjoy for now, the shower and the living room.

Today's felings: Strange butterflies celebrating a sad event (yes, I am that incongruent, get over it), sleepless as usual, but with the aroma of red wine in my mouth, digging in...

04 de febrer 2007

did not go out

And I am in my favorite position in front of the computer and wondering what buzz can I get. No beer in the fridge and white wine which might be of help in case of visits... Just in case. Today by the way, even though I had to invest some good 1:20 minutes biking I had a splendid breakfast with A. It was nice sitting in MY sun with MY coffee and in MY park with MY dog (he knows what I'm talking about, he??), it was nice having a bit of time with you.
I was going through last conversations with yoyete and puiti and remember you asked me for a-fo-tos of my new place. Although I'd rather have you over take a look... Will post them soon, or else in a separate site, although I still don't use it and don't even know how.

And so today a chain has saved me of getting in trouble with justice. I always do if it involves ownerless bikes. I can't help it. It would be the 3rd time. On time #2 I almost get a file at work (Amis...).
I have a bike-parts obsession since grey fucked up. I love that bike. It stills sits there in front of my old flat waiting for the piece to arrive. I've been collecting wheels from bins, but always too small, different system or too bent as well. I like looking for wracked bikes. Because there is always a piece needing to be changed that involves otherwise having to ask for an appointment in the local garage (NL, halt) for overexpensive repairs that you can otherwise do if you have the right pieces. When I first came in NL I had 3 bikes stolen in my 3 first months. It is like a generalized practice here. Unless you buy a chain heavier and more expensive than the bike itself you are always damned not to find it back where you park it. After the 3rd loss I started getting upset and kinda asumed that that's the way it goes. I didn't know destiny had planned a trick on me and put me a bike in the middle of a green square, unlocked and pretty like a holy temptation. Very pretty painted in grey spots. So one morning after seeing it unattended for 6 days in a row I decided it had been abandoned and I took it. The ring lock was hanging, but so what? I could still roll it on the front wheel. It was a weekday at 7:40 and on a well crowded train station, but I figured that would make it less obvious, it can happen to anyone after all. Almost on my way to the platforms 4 policemen and a policewoman stopped me and asked me if it was my bike.
I replied:
- so where is the lock?
As I am so good at lying I had to let it out. I don't know for what stupid reason I think people appreciate my honesty. I explained in my best Dutch that I found it abandoned and figure out somebody dropped it in the middle of the square. I mean, who leaves a bike laying on the grass in the middle of a square?
They were not too happy with my answer and kept me retained for my very shame:
- do you do this often?
- only on peak hours, I wanted to say. But I just said: come on! get real. Besides, I
had my bike stolen and I needed one... As if it would justify me.

I have no records, which helped, but I don't know how I made it to get out of that. They were really thinking about what to do with me, but since it was obvious I wasn't aware of the ruthless police pitynessless, they were not ready for it and let me go after I handed over the bike.
One of the policemen dared saying: "very nice bike, after all!"... Unfortunately for me I often need not speak to let my facial expressions tell you what I'm thinking. I think he got it.
Anyway. #1 sorted
Number 2. Even more ridiculous. Do you remember Freud? The part in psycoanalysis where he talks about sublimating? Like people with some complex or frustration will try to get a job that allows them have an authoritary position to sublimate frustrations through a violent or autoritary behaviour? Sorry for not born-to-become policemen or security guards, but some really fall in the category.
KinderEgg did. And how. He was friends with CroccantiFace and if you'd see them together you would notice there would be a long silence when you walk past them. They were mentally scanning you. Oh yes.
So that night a colleague had brought me back a bike I had lent him with a flat wheel, and as (too)many people I know whom I lent bikes do that get broken "somehow" he just dropped it in the stall and told me it was flat. I don't use it much, but when my grey bike, my big frustration and obsession had the front axe spinning in a way it made it wackle like jelly I thought I could go fix the guest one and take the other one to be repaired while I had a spare one. Long story short, while trying to swap the wheel in the stall I broke the hose. And while trying to swap the wheel of the guest bike with the wheel of the grey one I also fucked the grey one's one. The whole process took me more than 30 minutes due to lack of tools and KinderEgg was already vigilant on the other side. He then walk back away from the window to do his stuff and meanwhile I had the greatest idea! There was an abandoned bike in the stall. That one was definetely abandoned because as the police said, if it's not locked you can take it. So, since it had the same diametre and axe I was looking for, I thought I could swap axes and get my grey bike fixed on the spot!
But as I was concentrated in the procedure KinderEgg in his most guardian characterisation and provided with a big lamp came not to help me, but to find something suspicious.
I had to tell him the whole story and honestly (again) tell him: yep, guest mine, grey mine, abandoned not mine.
Guess what he said... Aha! and I replied: but it's been rotting here for ages! But of course it had belonged to someone before and what if the owner wants it back? (judging by the state it is in, he or she would probably rather ride a pink donkey, but nevermind). It had been used as a can container and cigarette disposal bin, you have to see it.
But he said it was theft and I said I would just not proceed with my idea and leave it like that. I apologized and told him that I thought they would understand I had to go back home somehow and with a bike in one piece. And that despair took me to have a stupid idea I considered pretty reasonable due to my situation.
The following day and despite my apologies he reported me to higher security. I had to visit the boss, explain, apologise and, just in case, I asked him if I could ask around in a mass mail about the possible owner of bike 'abandoned' in case the owner, if any, could give me the bike or sell me the piece I needed.
I had to apologise to my manager the very day I was getting my contract: "here your contract, congratulations, what the hell have you done this time???" "You are lucky you got it today, otherwise we would have just not renewed it and let you go". Lucky strike, I thought. Or not. My punishment was to be condemned to serve a multinational concern based in a facist governed country. Ha! who's laughing now?
So I was about to face #3 today in a mixture of adrenaline and nostalgy. This one has been given the official "abandoned" flag. But knowing how greedy Dutch can be it might mean "now it will belong the police". And it has that axe I need and the same system. And, today, one day away from discussing my new contract for my new position with my manager, providence left an abandoned bike with that front wheel axe that would fit 'grey'. But chained to a pole in the front wheel. Just for the records a police car passed by me shortly after I gave up the idea due to the previously unnoticed chain.
Dejà vu. With a different end. Now, some wine!

03 de febrer 2007

A toast

I don't know where to begin with.
If you remember my e-mails I was hoping for a new, very challenging work and have a chance to leave my not so challenging current one. I thought I wouldn't be able to spread the good news...

BUT. GRAB A SEAT: I got the job!!!

I came yesterday back from my holidays and was invited to the manager's office expecting the worst. After 3 weeks holiday it could have been that they had found a "real" engineer...

But it is true. Although they have to find me a replacement. Anyone speaking Spanish, English and German interested in moving to Amsterdam to perform a technical customer oriented well remunerated job? AFRI???!!!! Then pass me your CV. I still have a room available in my flat, so no worries with lodging...

I am going to become a network engineer. It sounds really cool. So now I have to gather energies to learn, learn and learn so I can be as geeky as it gets!