However, I don't like being expected to consider myself one as an external characteristic, not only because in my view it seems to accentuate the gap, but also, because from a linguistic point of view and in contraposition to chauvinism, it unconsciously designates the other extreme, which is not the case.
I am a woman, I am aware of the differences between the two sexes, but I am also aware, that it is a men's world in general and we lack some privileges men don't need to fight for.
I am a woman, hence, a feminist, as, with my existence I will do all I can possibly do to shorten the gap within the obvious differences.
Generational unawareness...
I found myself the other day watching this video in my parents' company. I mentioned the last statement made in the video hit me very hard and had me crying of anger for over a week. While trying to control my sobbing, my mum missed out that last bit I asked her to pay attention to, because in her attention span, she had moved to playing Candy Crush. I saw myself explaining to them that he was making a methaphore to "la manada", the Whatsapp name of 5 young men who went to the Sanfermines and who clearly stated on their whatsapp conversations that they wanted to get loaded, buy rape pills and with zero shame but proud proclaimed: rape someone. They succeeded and raped an 18 year old within the 5 of them. Brutally and mercilessly. I won't get into the court case details, but they are now free.
I did got to the Sanfermines once, too, when I was 22, with my older 27 year old friend. Two girls. I was more the party and drinking type, and she was more a seducer. None of us had booked any accommodation trusting we could pass out somewhere on the public spaces, common practice that day of the year.
Turned out we met some young men very late, when the sun was coming up, and with my seducer's friend help we were invited to crash with them. Them and some other very drunken guys in mattresses spread in a living room.
My friend did get laid on some mattress spread in the living room with the guy she had been exchanging looks with. I didn't. I don't see any added bonus to a one-night-trophy-shag. I slept. Her actions were consensual at every point. Had she felt uncomfortable we would have left the place. At no point I made a move to any of the guys there, but we were all laughs and giggles for sure. It was summer and we were wearing short sleeves. She might have had a skirt on. I am sure I didn't because I never wore skirts in my 20s. The bottom point was, that we could have been that girl, maybe even with more aggravating factors. We felt at ease with our hosts, and I am sure neither of us would have ever imagined any of the guys to have done something inappropriate. I have traveled alone for years and that is how I have always felt. And it's the way it should be, but it unfortunately isn't. I am sure our experience still is the rule, but there shouldn't be an exception. And in that case, it should be punished hard. There is nothing more sacred than your body.
SOLAS
These things still happen. They shouldn't happen. Men should be educated in consent. Kids in empathy.
Let's see:
Supuesta violación, see what happens to a man:
Violado= when they went on to have kids and have a family- A happy end?... Glorification of the use of rape?
#metoo
In May of 1998 I gave myself a trip to Prag, on my own. Alone. I booked a hostel behind the central station. I had been told the station was an unsafe area at night. It really looked like a dodgy area I avoided.
I reached a street. I only had to cross and walk up the hill. Relieved I didn't get in any trouble, nobody cared about me. And then I heard this voice. A male. He was calling me, but as we women do when guys cat calls us, I ignored him. But he ran after me. There I was face to face with this man. All I remember was his very dirty nails, he didn't give me a nice first impression and there was nowhere to go.
I politely rejected all his offers to accompany me, to join him in the Casino, to have a drink and so forth. I nicely said bye and walked to my pretend direction.
He dropped me at the hostel and refused to charge me the fare.
That night it could have been me. Travelling alone version.
I am a woman, hence, a feminist, as, with my existence I will do all I can possibly do to shorten the gap within the obvious differences.
Generational unawareness...
I found myself the other day watching this video in my parents' company. I mentioned the last statement made in the video hit me very hard and had me crying of anger for over a week. While trying to control my sobbing, my mum missed out that last bit I asked her to pay attention to, because in her attention span, she had moved to playing Candy Crush. I saw myself explaining to them that he was making a methaphore to "la manada", the Whatsapp name of 5 young men who went to the Sanfermines and who clearly stated on their whatsapp conversations that they wanted to get loaded, buy rape pills and with zero shame but proud proclaimed: rape someone. They succeeded and raped an 18 year old within the 5 of them. Brutally and mercilessly. I won't get into the court case details, but they are now free.
I did got to the Sanfermines once, too, when I was 22, with my older 27 year old friend. Two girls. I was more the party and drinking type, and she was more a seducer. None of us had booked any accommodation trusting we could pass out somewhere on the public spaces, common practice that day of the year.
Turned out we met some young men very late, when the sun was coming up, and with my seducer's friend help we were invited to crash with them. Them and some other very drunken guys in mattresses spread in a living room.
My friend did get laid on some mattress spread in the living room with the guy she had been exchanging looks with. I didn't. I don't see any added bonus to a one-night-trophy-shag. I slept. Her actions were consensual at every point. Had she felt uncomfortable we would have left the place. At no point I made a move to any of the guys there, but we were all laughs and giggles for sure. It was summer and we were wearing short sleeves. She might have had a skirt on. I am sure I didn't because I never wore skirts in my 20s. The bottom point was, that we could have been that girl, maybe even with more aggravating factors. We felt at ease with our hosts, and I am sure neither of us would have ever imagined any of the guys to have done something inappropriate. I have traveled alone for years and that is how I have always felt. And it's the way it should be, but it unfortunately isn't. I am sure our experience still is the rule, but there shouldn't be an exception. And in that case, it should be punished hard. There is nothing more sacred than your body.
SOLAS
https://www.elpais.cr/2016/03/08/noticias-del-asesinato-de-turistas-argentinas-exponen-costado-machista/
"Las dos chicas argentinas violadas que viajaban solas Marina Mengazzo, de 21 años y María José Coni, de 22, circulando por las redes sociales".
"Las dos chicas argentinas violadas que viajaban solas Marina Mengazzo, de 21 años y María José Coni, de 22, circulando por las redes sociales".
If you don't see the blatant chauvinism, let me ask how many women/girls does it take not to travel alone?
This case took place while I was travelling South America. Of all the places I have traveled to, it was the one where I felt more objectified, where I unfortunately, more often than not, felt men as predators. Like that time I interrupted a stay with an otherwise nice host, because he would suggest to f*ck per direct or in every other remark. It was very unpleasant and it spoiled nice moments, as I felt I had to go on defensive, on victim mode.
María and Marina were invited to stay the night by two guys. They accepted since they were quite low on budget. They got raped and murdered, one of the guys said he accidentally killed them because they were too loud. It almost implies he has done something of the like before.
This case took place while I was travelling South America. Of all the places I have traveled to, it was the one where I felt more objectified, where I unfortunately, more often than not, felt men as predators. Like that time I interrupted a stay with an otherwise nice host, because he would suggest to f*ck per direct or in every other remark. It was very unpleasant and it spoiled nice moments, as I felt I had to go on defensive, on victim mode.
María and Marina were invited to stay the night by two guys. They accepted since they were quite low on budget. They got raped and murdered, one of the guys said he accidentally killed them because they were too loud. It almost implies he has done something of the like before.
These things still happen. They shouldn't happen. Men should be educated in consent. Kids in empathy.
The press discriminates us more when, in the headlines, they mention they travel alone. I doubt that would have been formulated this way if it was two men. I doubt, leave rape aside, the press would have said two young men travelling alone were robbed and murdered.
Let's see:
El juicio a La Manada —el grupo de cinco hombres que formaban parte de un chat de Whatsapp con esa denominación— por la supuesta violación a una joven de 18 años en los Sanfermines de 2016 entra en su recta final.
Supuesta violación, see what happens to a man:
Violado= when they went on to have kids and have a family- A happy end?... Glorification of the use of rape?
#metoo
In May of 1998 I gave myself a trip to Prag, on my own. Alone. I booked a hostel behind the central station. I had been told the station was an unsafe area at night. It really looked like a dodgy area I avoided.
Turns out after going out for beers and jazz with some newly acquaintances (silver lining: I met my bestest Luxemburger friend for years to come), I had to leave the metro before reaching my station, on the central station exchange, because of curfew.
Turns out I had to walk to the hostel from that station. It was hard to talk to people, I tried to get help from the police but they were only interested in controlling my passport. I had no money left. The only way to my hostel was through the station. I found a coat on the street I put on, because it was getting cold. The coat was 2 sizes bigger and made me look like a dark mass of fabric. I did manage to cross the very dodgy park at the station unnoticed. There were mainly drunks and some drug dealing and prostitution from the other side of the steel curtain.
I reached a street. I only had to cross and walk up the hill. Relieved I didn't get in any trouble, nobody cared about me. And then I heard this voice. A male. He was calling me, but as we women do when guys cat calls us, I ignored him. But he ran after me. There I was face to face with this man. All I remember was his very dirty nails, he didn't give me a nice first impression and there was nowhere to go.
He kept me on conversation for nearly 30 minutes, trying to invite me to the casino. Me, pretending I was late to meet my friends and telling him I was going towards the opposite direction, so he wouldn't know where I was staying, in case he'd follow me there (all of these techniques are applied after real experiences, I wonder if men would ever had to).
I politely rejected all his offers to accompany me, to join him in the Casino, to have a drink and so forth. I nicely said bye and walked to my pretend direction.
I didn't refuse to shake hands as a good-bye. He grabbed my hand hard, pulled me towards him aggressively, grabbed my face and licked it from bottom to top. I turned around, slowly, mute and started walking, my back to him. He started to shout: run! run now! and came after me, so I ran. I followed a street and saw a small alley where I could cut back and reverse direction, to get closer to the hostel again. When I did reach the main street, like in the movies, I saw a cab and took it.
I don't know what he had in mind, but he had already managed to place himself in a spot to run directly from the other side (a very sick game of hide and seek).
My cabby didn't speak German, or English or Spanish or French and I didn't speak Czeck. But he could feel what was going on, he could see me pointing, shouting, making gestures to that man. He empathised.
He dropped me at the hostel and refused to charge me the fare.
That night it could have been me. Travelling alone version.
And as I was still working on this writing I found out about Diana Quer, new sick rape case in Spain. It makes me feel so responsible to work toward a change.
As usual education is key, but can we reach out to all those abused/neglected kids?
Is justice going to modify the condemns, in order to address the magnitude of the issue?
Is justice going to modify the condemns, in order to address the magnitude of the issue?
So don't call me a feminist. It's common sense.
