However, there is a kind of impulsiveness I can carry out of intuition. It comes from a warm place in my solar plexus and I know it is right. It is the one full of love, the:
"At first sight"
I read a statement about friendship at first sight and made it mine. It is more realistic than love at first sight, I guess. Still love, without the driven component, toch?
My first experience of love or friendship at first sight was my best friend. I had never experienced that. Our story is beautiful, full of dreams and it started in a breakthrough moment, when we were detaching from childhood, trying to find ourselves. She moved into the neighbourhood as the new kid but I didn't want to meet her. My extremely unloyal, unfaithful and hurting "boyfriend" had her already on her to-do list. I didn't think it was fair to interfere. Yep, I was that considerate. I only took a glimpse of her while walking past a bar and I thought she was worth falling for. She had something special, as much self-esteem as an 18-year-old could hold, I thought she was more worth than I. He didn't deserve her, but who was I to try to stop it. He had slept with friends of mine in the past. Some it hurt a lot, because I had to remeasure my concept of friendship. And some of the random girls he asked out I felt offended, because I really thought I was more worth than them. But not the new kid. She was really cool to look at, so I didn't want to be friends with her and I just let things take its normal course without being a possessive or jealous person. That is, I let my "boyfriend" be a restless cheater and try his luck on her and I didn't want to be friends because then I had to tell her what and a*hole he was.
A total different story to figure out why I thought I deserved that 'man' in my life.
But my barrio is not that big, I did see him courting her a couple of times near my street, taking her for a walk on a gorgeous big avenue with a church and banana trees. And as she made friends with my clique, we did end up meeting each other. I've never asked her what background information she had from me, I will ask her some day. I remember we were sitting on a couch, at a friend's place. Me feeling quite uncomfortable. I started kneading one of my friend's backs and she asked me to give her a little rub on the shoulders. She used to have a strict training schedule as a swimmer. I did and she told me something I will never forget: "it felt like you grabbed my muscles one by one and untied them" - and it felt like that. I had never felt that energy, of touching someone and feeling almost like I was touching my own body.
We have been together since. I left my "boyfriend", for her. It was a funny story. We sort of dumped him together and it felt great to get rid of him and have her in my life.
It was the best decision I (we) ever made. I love Bego so much as it felt part of me. My better half. We don't look alike at all but even my sister says we seem sisters. Everyone thinks we are sisters. Well, in a way, we ARE sisters. I am sure in a previous life we shared some blood line.
When the feeling is so strong, the "at first sight" feels so right it is amazing. It is quite like the sugary description people do when they say they found their soulmate. It hits you, and you know you've found someone for life.
A few days ago I had a friend, another soulmate visit me. We had our "at first sight" a few years ago in a food court in Auckland. It was pretty much so. I did follow my intuition and left her a note at the bar she worked at, telling her what I felt. I left her my number. and she called me back!
I have spent priceless moments with her. I could read instantly her good nature and her amazing positive energy that can fill a football stadium.That dash of naivety with that bit of naughtiness gets me all the time. And I feel I can trust her anything and she won't judge me, neither will I. We can laugh at the world or feel the connection of God, everything goes. And we are utterly out of our minds, and celebrating it!
I love every moment I spend with her. We talked about the first day we met. We remember it well. I was a client like any other, but we got the vibe. That vibe. Funnily I was on a date that day. I was feeling very insecure with that guy (the anger to realise I have a built in radar for generic a*holes), but she made me feel good and positive.
Of course there has to be a black sheep. There was once this thunderbolt-lightining right-here-right-now I felt one unfortunate evening on flat 5, nr21. Desire at first sight, which dragged on for about 10 years. The main subject of my future book called: "progressive dark". Years believing in a fantasy to learn that there is no-one more precious than yourself and your journey, the one you travel within. And those amazing persons you let into your life and you want to travel with, as long as the journey allows it.
ON a post-post note I just had a talk to my best friend, she contacted me just as I was about to finish this post. And I had the chance to tell her again how much she means for me. Best tears the one you shed of happiness.
Ah, my whanau, my chosen family. My Sydney mad family, my kiwi whanau! the Amsterdam unique ex-pat bunch, all those freak-like-me in Germany I need not talk to understand, because we speak the same language(s). My German parents, my relatives in Regensburg. The ones I grew up with in Barcelona, colló, el rerafons cultural i educatiu que compartim! Sergi, company de reflexions i confidències... And my family of blood, my alpha and omega.
Ah, my whanau, my chosen family. My Sydney mad family, my kiwi whanau! the Amsterdam unique ex-pat bunch, all those freak-like-me in Germany I need not talk to understand, because we speak the same language(s). My German parents, my relatives in Regensburg. The ones I grew up with in Barcelona, colló, el rerafons cultural i educatiu que compartim! Sergi, company de reflexions i confidències... And my family of blood, my alpha and omega.
CELEBRATING LOVE AND THANKFUL OF THAT LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT THAT HAS BROUGHT SO MUCH RICHNESS INTO MY SOUL.
SO GLAD WE MET, WE FINALLY BUMPED INTO EACH OTHER.
I WISH TO OPEN TO MORE CONSCIOUSNESS IN 2015, AND WILL WORK ON IT, LOOKING INTO THAT DIRECTION.
I HOPE TO SHARE MORE LOVE AND TRUST AS LIFE IS NOTHING ELSE BUT THAT.
I ALSO WISH THE ASCENSION FOR THOSE WHO STILL NEED A LITTLE KICK FROM THEIR 2ND DIMENSION. I NEED YOU IN HIGHER GROUNDS!
I ALSO WISH THE ASCENSION FOR THOSE WHO STILL NEED A LITTLE KICK FROM THEIR 2ND DIMENSION. I NEED YOU IN HIGHER GROUNDS!
