In order to continue to this piece of history I found, I have to make a confesion. This will ease things.
In the year 2000 I sold my eggs in order to afford a ticket to Sydney to spend the millenium. I was in love with the city and someone was waiting for me. I didn't have the moral burden and I didn't have any money (some things never change). Although... I kinda started having my issues when the hormone cocktail they gave me started to kick in. I started wondering why these women wanted to get bloody pregnant.
Among the whole hormone cocktail and close to being operated I wrote my then-boyfriend.
Today 2007 I am spending some days at his place and he found this piece of history and shared it with me.
I read it and thought... Oh, I'm so sweet.
So I am going to transcript it now, see what you think:
Hi X
It's a beautiful morning. People get ready to vote some narrow minded asshole to lead the future of a sourceless country - I lived in BCN at the time, i guess the Spanish elections were taking place, it was march 12 2000, -
He, I'm just sitting around in a cafeteria, before going to my interview before the operation. This is the stage of the "are you sure?" & everything. I already made my story. There are some families around here, doing the same as me, getting their body ready, them, to receive what I have to give. I know it's them because they come at the same visiting hour on Saturdays (in vitros are from 8 to 9) and you see them really "shiny faces".
I just think: "wow, you are gonna get my eggs" and sometimes it makes me think why are these couples so desperate to have children, or else: 'WHY are these women so obsessed with bearing babies?'
I guess they are really bored in their semi-detatched 3-story house in the suburbs, too many empty rooms and lots of money to pay for a pregnancy. X's father was kinda right, he said: "I would be a donour, not for the money, but to help people in the public health sector"
Yes, but. We don't wanna help poorer people have kids. They usually have no problem with getting pregnant, and if they can't have any, it's probably more about saving some money in condoms, or at least they don't have the deep sadness of the private egg-buyers, that "how are we going to fill the east side wing" or "what are we going to do with the 6-seat station wagon we bought?". Poor rich people (yeah, I'm so sorry).
Sorry it just makes me wonder... alltogether.
I end it here. Basically because that is the main part I thought to be so sweet. Later, approaching the operation I remember I was too obsessed with adoption. I started wondering why these wealthy people, who have done the in-vitro thing once (I met a couple one Saturday, they were going for the 2nd one)
WHY these people, who could afford another child and give it everything it needs, DON'T adopt?
Is that racism??? he??? I mean, if you have the blessing of being unfertile at least you can give the chance to a kid of a poor fertile mum... No?. They should allow these people to have have 1 in-vitro and suggest them to go for adoption the 2nd time. Give them information, allow them to think how many children will never have a chance. Some not even a future.
Anyway, I realized too late that I had issues with the whole donour story. Only it was too late. Now I have at least 3 kids in Barcelona carrying my genetical information. And filling the east wing of a semi-detached house.
26 d’abril 2007
23 d’abril 2007
that's what you get!
- SANT JORDI -
Avui havia de fer-ho i havia de ser-ho.
Sant jordi. Un dels pocs dies que celebro. O dels que me'n recordo.
I aquest any, per la meva sorpresa m'agafa entre torns de nit, i tinc a penes una hora per anar a buscar roses que regalaré a qui s'escaigui. Segurament als micos amb els que treballo, però en fi... Tirar els diners li dic jo amb lo cares que estan les roses.
En tot cas, per els/les que es puguin sentir malament, penseu en mi. Són les 18:45 i ni tan sols mon pare m'ha enviat un e-mail per Sant Jordi. Ni un puto e-mail. Ni nòvio ni ná, però d'això no em queixo, al contrari. Jo no he pogut enviar e-mails i roses pq haig de dormir durant el dia per treballar de nit... What is your excuse?
En tot cas voldria desitjar, de manera massiva a tots els catalans i/o catalanoparlants una feliç diada i inclosos aquells que per la primavera estiguin descobrint de nou el gust de les ferormones: FELICITATS
En el fons, pels que esteu a Barcelona, Diosss, la jentáh por las Ramblas oishhh... quita, quita, quitaaa
Avui havia de fer-ho i havia de ser-ho.
Sant jordi. Un dels pocs dies que celebro. O dels que me'n recordo.
I aquest any, per la meva sorpresa m'agafa entre torns de nit, i tinc a penes una hora per anar a buscar roses que regalaré a qui s'escaigui. Segurament als micos amb els que treballo, però en fi... Tirar els diners li dic jo amb lo cares que estan les roses.
En tot cas, per els/les que es puguin sentir malament, penseu en mi. Són les 18:45 i ni tan sols mon pare m'ha enviat un e-mail per Sant Jordi. Ni un puto e-mail. Ni nòvio ni ná, però d'això no em queixo, al contrari. Jo no he pogut enviar e-mails i roses pq haig de dormir durant el dia per treballar de nit... What is your excuse?
En tot cas voldria desitjar, de manera massiva a tots els catalans i/o catalanoparlants una feliç diada i inclosos aquells que per la primavera estiguin descobrint de nou el gust de les ferormones: FELICITATS
En el fons, pels que esteu a Barcelona, Diosss, la jentáh por las Ramblas oishhh... quita, quita, quitaaa
22 d’abril 2007
Faces
Almost more interesting than a book. Just an unexpected sunny Sunday. The park was ablast and the fauna very funny. How are we so social and at the same time we search our own identity groups, and it works. If you looked at the groups around you could see it then. The one in front of me was clearly a gay lesbian gathering. Whether I am very observing or those two girls on top of each other smooching made the kick. But bunch next to them were these very pale cloggies, looking like part of the marketing sector of an enterprise and not quite used to casual clothes. That or the fact that they were pale and playing with casino chips and drinking corona on their free time made me somehow create a match.
I would have gladly jumped into the gay gathering, introduce myself and ask how they met. But in the park grouping I was the one who woke up alone after a bit too many drink, put on some clothes on, was going to work all night and trying to get some sleep. To no avail. After watching them the book was boring.
I would have gladly jumped into the gay gathering, introduce myself and ask how they met. But in the park grouping I was the one who woke up alone after a bit too many drink, put on some clothes on, was going to work all night and trying to get some sleep. To no avail. After watching them the book was boring.
12 d’abril 2007
Anywhoo after the swimming I went to the animal pound to see if there was a cat I could help out. But they all come with special wishes: some want a garden, some want total attention (a cat?) some are aggressive, some unsocial... It was hard to be compatible with them. I felt I wasn't good enough for any. And so it should be, I guess, a cat has to be able to tame you, not the other way around... I told the lady maybe it was easier to educate a baby after all.
But I will keep an eye to see if I could be of any help for a cat looking for a home, without garden, with lots of visit, for a single working woman who's not always home and also loving owner who can spend some time cuddling and giving attention, but not too much, ah! and playful, I forgot. Most of the cats in the pound were the "most difficult" ones, and not much into playing.
For the better understanding of others, I would still so very not try to tame a kid!
But I will keep an eye to see if I could be of any help for a cat looking for a home, without garden, with lots of visit, for a single working woman who's not always home and also loving owner who can spend some time cuddling and giving attention, but not too much, ah! and playful, I forgot. Most of the cats in the pound were the "most difficult" ones, and not much into playing.
For the better understanding of others, I would still so very not try to tame a kid!
barreja de dies
I de llengües? I will be posting in bilingual, trilingual sorry, and with no order, to honour the blog's title. A que el títol del blog es reflecteix al caos lingüístic que desprenc?
I demà vaig a Alemanya, to top it of!
Estic preparant-me per sortir una estoneta a fer quatre voltes al parc. l'estamina. És que funciono amb energia solar. Subidón que porto amb la primavera, redéu!
L'altre dia per variar vaig anar a nedar: annarnedar. Mai més. Nie mehr. And now the English description, because I was observing n English, sorry.
The whales:
I have to say for the sake of the konijlijke rijk van Nederland that people are not as whale-ish as the cabezorros. But there are still a huge amount of floating bodies blocking the lanes for swimmers. Why don't they go to the general, bigger and recreative lane? It is a mistery to me. Maybe they think they are swimming... So this woman totally moving her arms like a mill (she was Dutch) occupied the whole lane swimming(?) on her back and even complaining if she would hit someone. Qué gilipollas! In the crawl swimmers lane there was a whale, but she swam wonderfully. Apologies for misjudging her when I saw her coming. There is only one lane where you can actually swim and you are allowed only crawl... discriminating swimmers, endevé, and I like to change stiles every now and then. Besides the doctor recommended me to do backstyle, but due to the floating turds in swimming suits it is almost impossible. I do care not to bump into anyone, but they don't. So it is a bit unconfortable to trn around every 2 strikes to make sure no turd came your way.
Besides. The pool was disgusting, which is strange because even old and yellowish, it tends to be quite clean. While swimmng I got stuck on an algi-like bundle of hair, I almost drawn in black curls and pubic wires. Ah, and saw at least two plasters, can people not keep an eye on that? ieeww!
So my swimming ended as usual, upset. But I was too relaxed to start splashing floating bodies. I love to do it, because they get desperate, as if they were going to drown. I need to raise awareness to them, and since I cannot talk on the water, I tend to show them that the lane is to SWIM. I wonder what are livesavers for. They should fish them out and put them in the kid's pool to practice.
Ahhh my favourite. KIDS. Lovely. Swimmers have about 1:30 hours to do lanes, then the pool will be used for courses or clubs. BUT. Kid's lessons start just about 30 min after the lane swimming. So they take one lane and eventually kick you out of another (great for swimmers) During my frustration due to the incapability to swim normally I could observe the kids and I actually enjoyed it. Some are so annoying, some so sweet... you can see it as they dive and how some already grow the unawareness of sharing a lane. But the difference is that the floating ones don't complaint and try their best to be on the side for their own sake. Yep, some adults should learn from kids.
After this experience i decided to lay a bit in the whirlpool. Since hte swimming pool is goverment funded, the water in the whirlpool is rather cold, and they provide 10 minutes bubbles and 10 minutes still, I guess alltogether to save money. But I enjoyed 10 minutes of sitting and cursing the floating bodies in my thoughts. It helped me come to terms with it, relax a bit and promise myself not to go swimming anymore. After all it seems a swimming pool is thought for some to float and not to swim. I suggest they call it: floating pool, it would make more justice.
A quick listing of the fauna you find there:
1- the horny buggers who come to scan you from the outside and in the water, swimming behind you to see between your legs.
2- the hot babes, who are usually no more than two and usually together. You don't care if they swim, they tend to go to the general pool, no lane, because they will just kinda move and make sure the bikini (no swimming suit) won't slip (and type 1 is already supervising that)
3- les Teresines. The grannies. The absolute "don't give a shit about others", hey, they go to the pool already 10 years. Be lucky if they are 2. They also tend to occupy the general side and swim in blockades of 2 and 3. A barricade of flowery hats. Not the strongest tide would set them apart or keep them from chatting the 2 hours they spend floating. They are like bikes for Holland. Gods in flowery patterns.
4- oh I hate those ones. They think they can swim and are geared semi professionally. They do loud arm moves while their legs can never make it to the surface. Yeah, you sink, because you ain't got any idea. You are slow, annoying and arrogant.
5- I talked about the floating turds in the swimming lanes already. Nr 4 is a sub group, but at least they keep up a pace, ergo, they move. This group is predominant, they have no job, come regularly, have their regular lane and they still don't get it: they know shit about swimming and prevent real swimmers to come.
6- the swimmers. I guess I belong to this group. They follow a scheduled exercise in a regular pace. Some are really quick, and I am probably a sub 4 for them. But i am aware and yield, because they are doing serious stuff. You will find them in the crawl lane, condemned to crawl, because of all the others. That lane is rather organized, no collisions, the fastest go first, the slowliers after. There is hierarchy and respect, because they understand what swimming is about. Sometimes you get the so called sharks, overtaking constantly and pushing you to follow their pace. Some can be annoying, but you have to show respect. They should do 2 lanes of them. In Asutralia they have 3 lanes (at leastin the uni-swimming pool): fast, medium-slow. So as you cmoe you can check the speeds and adapt. Life would be much easier if the concept could be adopted in other countries.
7- Mother with child: Tedious! Even in the general lane, they not only float but keep an eye on the offspring constantly. It is annoying, because the offsprings tend to do whatever they like because they are permitted and take advantage of the overprotective stage of the parents in an environment like water. Luckly some swimming pools dedicate them some days, so they can annoy each other and the kids can socialise and start building their won hierarchy. Unfortunately some swimming pools consider them as normal crowd, they are not. They are multiplied, asynchronous and unequal. They deserve their own family day.
There are sure other categories, but these are the main you confront.
So no more swimming for me in artificial pools. I know of someone who will be happy to hear this. I gave up.
I demà vaig a Alemanya, to top it of!
Estic preparant-me per sortir una estoneta a fer quatre voltes al parc. l'estamina. És que funciono amb energia solar. Subidón que porto amb la primavera, redéu!
L'altre dia per variar vaig anar a nedar: annarnedar. Mai més. Nie mehr. And now the English description, because I was observing n English, sorry.
The whales:
I have to say for the sake of the konijlijke rijk van Nederland that people are not as whale-ish as the cabezorros. But there are still a huge amount of floating bodies blocking the lanes for swimmers. Why don't they go to the general, bigger and recreative lane? It is a mistery to me. Maybe they think they are swimming... So this woman totally moving her arms like a mill (she was Dutch) occupied the whole lane swimming(?) on her back and even complaining if she would hit someone. Qué gilipollas! In the crawl swimmers lane there was a whale, but she swam wonderfully. Apologies for misjudging her when I saw her coming. There is only one lane where you can actually swim and you are allowed only crawl... discriminating swimmers, endevé, and I like to change stiles every now and then. Besides the doctor recommended me to do backstyle, but due to the floating turds in swimming suits it is almost impossible. I do care not to bump into anyone, but they don't. So it is a bit unconfortable to trn around every 2 strikes to make sure no turd came your way.
Besides. The pool was disgusting, which is strange because even old and yellowish, it tends to be quite clean. While swimmng I got stuck on an algi-like bundle of hair, I almost drawn in black curls and pubic wires. Ah, and saw at least two plasters, can people not keep an eye on that? ieeww!
So my swimming ended as usual, upset. But I was too relaxed to start splashing floating bodies. I love to do it, because they get desperate, as if they were going to drown. I need to raise awareness to them, and since I cannot talk on the water, I tend to show them that the lane is to SWIM. I wonder what are livesavers for. They should fish them out and put them in the kid's pool to practice.
Ahhh my favourite. KIDS. Lovely. Swimmers have about 1:30 hours to do lanes, then the pool will be used for courses or clubs. BUT. Kid's lessons start just about 30 min after the lane swimming. So they take one lane and eventually kick you out of another (great for swimmers) During my frustration due to the incapability to swim normally I could observe the kids and I actually enjoyed it. Some are so annoying, some so sweet... you can see it as they dive and how some already grow the unawareness of sharing a lane. But the difference is that the floating ones don't complaint and try their best to be on the side for their own sake. Yep, some adults should learn from kids.
After this experience i decided to lay a bit in the whirlpool. Since hte swimming pool is goverment funded, the water in the whirlpool is rather cold, and they provide 10 minutes bubbles and 10 minutes still, I guess alltogether to save money. But I enjoyed 10 minutes of sitting and cursing the floating bodies in my thoughts. It helped me come to terms with it, relax a bit and promise myself not to go swimming anymore. After all it seems a swimming pool is thought for some to float and not to swim. I suggest they call it: floating pool, it would make more justice.
A quick listing of the fauna you find there:
1- the horny buggers who come to scan you from the outside and in the water, swimming behind you to see between your legs.
2- the hot babes, who are usually no more than two and usually together. You don't care if they swim, they tend to go to the general pool, no lane, because they will just kinda move and make sure the bikini (no swimming suit) won't slip (and type 1 is already supervising that)
3- les Teresines. The grannies. The absolute "don't give a shit about others", hey, they go to the pool already 10 years. Be lucky if they are 2. They also tend to occupy the general side and swim in blockades of 2 and 3. A barricade of flowery hats. Not the strongest tide would set them apart or keep them from chatting the 2 hours they spend floating. They are like bikes for Holland. Gods in flowery patterns.
4- oh I hate those ones. They think they can swim and are geared semi professionally. They do loud arm moves while their legs can never make it to the surface. Yeah, you sink, because you ain't got any idea. You are slow, annoying and arrogant.
5- I talked about the floating turds in the swimming lanes already. Nr 4 is a sub group, but at least they keep up a pace, ergo, they move. This group is predominant, they have no job, come regularly, have their regular lane and they still don't get it: they know shit about swimming and prevent real swimmers to come.
6- the swimmers. I guess I belong to this group. They follow a scheduled exercise in a regular pace. Some are really quick, and I am probably a sub 4 for them. But i am aware and yield, because they are doing serious stuff. You will find them in the crawl lane, condemned to crawl, because of all the others. That lane is rather organized, no collisions, the fastest go first, the slowliers after. There is hierarchy and respect, because they understand what swimming is about. Sometimes you get the so called sharks, overtaking constantly and pushing you to follow their pace. Some can be annoying, but you have to show respect. They should do 2 lanes of them. In Asutralia they have 3 lanes (at leastin the uni-swimming pool): fast, medium-slow. So as you cmoe you can check the speeds and adapt. Life would be much easier if the concept could be adopted in other countries.
7- Mother with child: Tedious! Even in the general lane, they not only float but keep an eye on the offspring constantly. It is annoying, because the offsprings tend to do whatever they like because they are permitted and take advantage of the overprotective stage of the parents in an environment like water. Luckly some swimming pools dedicate them some days, so they can annoy each other and the kids can socialise and start building their won hierarchy. Unfortunately some swimming pools consider them as normal crowd, they are not. They are multiplied, asynchronous and unequal. They deserve their own family day.
There are sure other categories, but these are the main you confront.
So no more swimming for me in artificial pools. I know of someone who will be happy to hear this. I gave up.
08 d’abril 2007
was it the vodka?
Vodka is nice, and that one was great. Thanks to my Vodka buddy for the evening, I went to bed absolutelly clear head and positive energy.
It showed in dreams.
I had two. One was strange, because it involved a friend of mine diving in dirtwater. Maybe some kind of sign? In the dream I didn't want to dive. I don't like diving in water I cannot see the bottom.
It has been the weekend of the Eastern straycats. I saw more people these two last days than the last two weeks together. Chat, go out, have some Vodka and find out what's new with everyone. Since nothing really new is up with me.
I mentioned someone during my Vodka session. And he appeared in my dreams. I wouldn't have imagined dreaming I was having 'intimate relations' (yes, I have been watching abfab lately) with that person, but it awoke some curiosity. What if...?
At least he pretty much satisfied me in dreams (it is nice to wake up with an orgasm). Well, you never know.
So there you go. Nice dream.
It showed in dreams.
I had two. One was strange, because it involved a friend of mine diving in dirtwater. Maybe some kind of sign? In the dream I didn't want to dive. I don't like diving in water I cannot see the bottom.
It has been the weekend of the Eastern straycats. I saw more people these two last days than the last two weeks together. Chat, go out, have some Vodka and find out what's new with everyone. Since nothing really new is up with me.
I mentioned someone during my Vodka session. And he appeared in my dreams. I wouldn't have imagined dreaming I was having 'intimate relations' (yes, I have been watching abfab lately) with that person, but it awoke some curiosity. What if...?
At least he pretty much satisfied me in dreams (it is nice to wake up with an orgasm). Well, you never know.
So there you go. Nice dream.
04 d’abril 2007
i quina emoció
And what an exictement.
So lange nicht geschrieben... wieder. Und das leben fasst sich in ein Bündel von Emotionen zusammen.
La vida puede que no sea más que un ovillo de emociones. Bien enredado...
And this is proof. And this has to go on.
So far nothing happening, as I assumed it was going to be when starting working. Absorbing new knowledgde.
Does it happen to others when they have to learn? That you get horribly sleepy?
Please forgive me. Will be sharing.
Today's feelings: abandoning the texts
apathy again?
gotta get going.
My computer failed for some days and I felt so lonely.
Sorry, wine speaking a bit.
So lange nicht geschrieben... wieder. Und das leben fasst sich in ein Bündel von Emotionen zusammen.
La vida puede que no sea más que un ovillo de emociones. Bien enredado...
And this is proof. And this has to go on.
So far nothing happening, as I assumed it was going to be when starting working. Absorbing new knowledgde.
Does it happen to others when they have to learn? That you get horribly sleepy?
Please forgive me. Will be sharing.
Today's feelings: abandoning the texts
apathy again?
gotta get going.
My computer failed for some days and I felt so lonely.
Sorry, wine speaking a bit.
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